Weekly Photo Challenge – Transient

Hello friends!

Here are my submissions for this week’s photo challenge! The theme this week is – Transient. I hope you enjoy them! ❤️

I will never get tired of this Red Panda (nom life)
Car Monster
Rare Random Acts of Love 
Skate Dog
Syd, my co-pilot
Once upon a time, geese took over my patio
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Looks a bit squirrely
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Everything about this is weird, but I like it? I think
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Mood.

Transient

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Weekly Photo Challenge – Focus

Hello my good friends & happy Thursday! ❤

I hope you are having a great week so far and I am sending you all the good vibes and love! Also, may your coffee/tea be strong and your day sunshiny and bright!

In effort to get my butt back on track for this blog, I made sure to find photos for this challenge and take a new one too! This week’s topic is: Focus – here we will showcase our favorite in-focus and out-of-focus moments. Enjoy!

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Ms. Nosey Syd

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In a world of chaos, be a gentle flower.

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Ohio is know for cows…right!?

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Lemon craze

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2016 was a blur

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Barley

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Craft store pause.

Focus

Talk to you soon my loves!

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Wanderlust

Hello friends!

Here are my weekly photo challenge submissions :). The theme for today was – Wanderlust! While I have not been on vacation in a while, these are some of my favorites from the past! Enjoy and talk to you soon! ❤ Kat

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Catalina Island, CA – 2012

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Pierpont Bay -Ventura, CA – September 2012

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Pierpont Bay – Ventura, CA – September 2012

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Ensenada, Mexico – September 2012

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Somewhere in California where living is done RIGHT -September 2012
 

Wanderlust

© Katrina M and Diary of the Mad Katter, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Katrina M and Diary of the Mad Katter with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Thursday Doors – April 13, 2017

Hello friends!

Since I had such a busy blogging day yesterday  (whew!), I am going to take it easier today with a photo challenge :). I found a new one called Thursday Doors. The event is hosted by Norm 2.0 and he has lots of fabulous pictures if you are interested! Enjoy! ❤

 

Trinity Episcopal Church – Columbus, OH

Thursday Doors: Norm 2.0

My Life in Pictures :)

Hello friends! Since I enjoyed sharing some of my pictures of my pups, I wanted to show you more! I have been rummaging through my Google Photos to find some of my favorites that remind me of my crazy day-to-day, Ohio and other random things that I decided to take a photo of. I hope you enjoy them and perhaps even learn more about me from what I take pictures of! Enjoy!

 

***All photos are mine, please do not use without my permission***

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#packlife Sydney, Barley and Ana
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This view stopped me while wandering around in the art building where Caterpillar’s studio is housed
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Columbus Blue Jackets!
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Sometimes I hang out at the skate park…with that comes maintenance. These guys crushed it
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Some date nights require Legos
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Sightings around my work – Columbus, OH
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I love Alice in Wonderland…in case you did not notice. Mashup of Legos and Alice!? Be still my heart! This was one random late evening.
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Break times with Ana
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I buy myself flowers and catch hitchhikers
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This is in the alley by my work and fave pizza joint
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Skate park – Columbus, OH
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Spring – Columbus, OH
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Huntington Park, home of the Columbus Clippers
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Sydney
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“Heads up, blind dog coming through!” She was the center of attention while getting supplies for the home
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Growing up
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Sunshine, Jameson and ginger ale
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Columbus, OH
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Mantis vs. Bee
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Barley
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Feel better roses – RIP
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I had a green thumb for 5 min last year
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Hocking Hills – Logan, OH
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Kat attracting stray cats?
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“Let me sing you the song of my people…for the pizza” – Barley
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Red Panda munching – Columbus Zoo
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Hustle and Bustle – Columbus, OH

 

Fun fact Friday! A little more about me! 

Friday Fun Facts About Me!

Hello friends and happy Friday! 

I was thinking about today’s post and there was something about “fun fact Friday” that called out to me. While looking or some prompts, I found this lovely blog from Thought Catalog: “50 questions to ask a girl, if you want to know who she really is.

I thought it was a great list and will help give you guys a little more information about me! Win win! So here we go:

1. What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?

  • Something that made me stronger was…when my ex of almost 6 years, whom I was engaged to up and left me the first week of December in 2015. We had just purchased a house, had 2 dogs and everything was going well – as far as I knew. We had been friends for 12 years and most of those he was my “best friend.” Having to gather the strength to become a single home owner, care for myself, the pups and figure out how I was going to afford life with my income was a huge hurdle. He also did not tell his parents, so when Christmas came around and they were expecting us, I got the call from his mother…which I had to tell her. I had to tell everyone, his family, mine and friends. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through and yet, I was kind to him…for a while J. Abandonment is hard – without closure and having to handle everything on my own, including calling the wedding vendors (thanks for those non-refundable deposits guys)! Ugh! He also left everything of his, so I got to pack and sort it all….donated a lot and got a few bucks from selling his things after his “notice” came and went. I am much stronger than I thought I could ever be, but I still have a few trust issues till this day. They are getting better but – that fear is still there.

2. What’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak?

  • The above situation made me feel very weak, but also having men still break up with me or leave me post that incident makes me feel weak, like something is wrong with me. At the end of the day, I know I did the best I could but those days do come from time to time.

3. Where is one place you feel most like yourself?

  • Curled up in a blanket in my home or with my loved one.

4. Where is your favorite place to escape to?

  • Home, bookstore, craft stores, cuddling with pups, walking in nature and cuddling with my other….or whatever he is.

5. Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?

  • Most of my life, I had to be independent or the “adult”. I am the one that my family (including parents) comes to in a crisis and always been that way. Same with my friends so honestly, I am who I am today because of me really. My mother taught me the importance of a credit score when I was like 12 so I can thank her for that I guess J.

6. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

  • I wish that I could vocalize my feelings more efficiently…or understand my own thoughts and emotions better. That way I can express them to the ones who may be causing me stress. I feel that most of the time when I try, I do not get my point across or they just do not understand…or I end up leaving out parts or words and it’s just a mess haha. I can understand and assist others no problem, I just have issues with me.

7. If you had one day left to live, what would you do first?

  • Go to a beach

8. What decade do you feel you most belong in?

  • This is a tough one; I have an old soul for sure. Perhaps the 50s?

9. Who are you closest to in your family? Why?

  • My family is not really a “close” family if you will. If I had to pick one, my oldest brother.

10. Who is the one person in this world that knows you best?

  • My therapist 😀 haha um that is a tough one as well…not too many people know everything about me, I am pretty private and only share certain things with certain people – know your audience! If I had to pick someone, it was probably my ex-fiancé, with that much history, he knew everything about my crazy self and complicated family.

11. What is your favorite quality about your best friend?

  • That she is opposite of me, she is an extrovert, bold and forward, it’s a good balance.

12. When you were younger what did you think you were going to be when you grew up?

  • Well known photographer, I wanted nothing more than to capture motocross action shots (I have been riding dirt bikes since I was 5) or nature.

13. If you could identify with one fictional character (from a book, show, or movie) who would it be?

  • A mix of Tina, Louise & Linda Belcher from Bob’s Burgers 

14. Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments?

  • They are really nice to hear because I am really hard on myself but I just don’t know what to say…. usually an awkward “thank you” with some weird nonsense follow up. I wish I was better at them haha.

15. Is your favorite attribute about yourself physical or non-physical?

  • I have struggled with this but with the support of my fellow blog fam & a few close people supporting the idea…I love that I am a bleeding heart. I will do literally anything/anytime/any place for the few close to me. I will continue to give limitless love and support for my small circle. While they are not the same and it is not as accepted, I am happy to say at the end of each day – that I did my best for whomever.

16. What is your favorite physical attribute about yourself?

  • I have grayish eyes

17. What is your favorite non-physical attribute about yourself?

  • See question #15!

18. Do you believe in love at first sight?

  • Love is such a complex thing. It involves humans who come with their own shit and backgrounds that love at first sight does not fit in my world. I am a HUGE hopeless romantic, don’t get me wrong there…but love takes time. You have to find that person who balances you and stays next to you on the wild roller coaster of life. I feel there can be a connection but not love at first sight.

19. Do you believe in soul mates?

  • Ah, a good question Thought Catalog! I blogged about this previously, I do not fully believe in soul mates – again love is complex. As unromantic as it is, love is hard work and a choice to me. Find that partner in crime that best fits you or “your kind of crazy” and you are good to go J.

20. How seriously do you take horoscopes?

  • I don’t really take them seriously. I will check mine every once in a while out of curiosity but to me they are all very vague and depending on your mood – no matter what they say, you will find something to identify with if you are looking for something in particular. I will say traits of my sign if you will are more relatable. Apparently my Taurus stubbornness is a real thing haha.

21. Have you ever been in love? How many times?

  • I think love is different at various life stages. I have been in love and I am one to love easily and hard for ones I feel that connection with… so I would say I have been in love a couple times at different levels. One time at a very deep level…eh!

22. What makes you fall in love with someone?

  • I tell people that I fall in love with souls. Some of my friends are more into the physical aspect, I am more on the side of: if we connect on a level and I feel comfortable to be myself 100% I will love harder than anything in this world. Example, if he gets my anxiety and weird quirks without running away and if they have them too!? That level of understanding and acceptance is love to me.

23. What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?

  • Opening up to someone 100%, without fear of judgment of your past, family issues, your habits, passion, falling in love with someone so deeply that they have the ability to crush you…but trust they wont.

24. What’s one thing you’re scared to ask a man, but really want to?

  • What do you love about me? The fear is the reply will be an awkward pause and nothing really came to mind.

25. If you were a man for a day, what would be the first thing you do?

  • I really have no idea on this one? I guess

26. What do you find most attractive about each sex?

  • Men– Their strength yet their ability to be vulnerable at times, Women – Their strength as well but with the ability that some can do it in 5 inch heels!

27. What’s one thing you’d love to learn more about?

  • I love to learn in general… music, backgrounds, religions, coping skills, hobbies etc. anything and everything.

28. What is something you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to do?

  • Move to a warmer state or have a warm get-away home

29. Why haven’t you done it yet?

  • Money! One day!

30. If money didn’t matter, what would your dream job be?

  • Open my own coffee shop

31. If you had off from work today, what would you do?

  • Sleep in and hibernate from the snow!!

32. What was the last thing that made you cry?

  • Feeling lonely and unloved

33. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

  • A dog pun from Caterpillar

34. What is your favorite memory?

  • Humm… I will get back to you on  this one!

35. What’s the last thing that REALLY embarrassed you?

  • My friend was starting a new yoga class and me being the hater of exercise decided to send a meme of yoga poses with “new names” if you will. For example, the one I told her that I related to and the only one I really paid attention to on the chart of like 9 was the “murder victim.” This pose is the one where you are laying down and looks like a stellar napping pose. Well, it turns out the 2 directly above it, that I somehow did not focus on were called: The Crotch Opener and the Suck my D*** Pose. When she replied with “oh my…” I rechecked my meme and about died. That was HORRIBLY crass…my bad. Lesson of the day, read the entire thing before sending off hahaha.

36. What is your biggest fear?

  • Currently: never getting married or having a life partner to share life with or have a family with. 

37. Do you have any regrets? What’s your biggest one?

  • Humm I try not to think on regrets, everything shapes us – right?!

38. Have you ever broken a law? If you haven’t what is one law you’d love to break?

  • Nothing outside of traffic violations

39. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

  • I try to play life safe…but my back is pretty much covered in tattoos. To some that is crazy, other than that taking on massive hills on dirt bikes for years.

40. Would you have a conversation with a stranger?

  • I am kind of a shy gal, I will chat occasionally but I keep to myself

41. Would you tell a stranger they have toilet paper hanging from their shoe? Or their dress tucked into their underwear? (Or anything else that is embarrassing to be seen in public)?

  • Yes because I would want someone to tell me!

42. What’s your favorite joke?

  • I do not really have one, I just like puns haha

43. Are you a dog person or a cat person?

  • Dog

44. If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?

  • Red Panda or Koala

45. What’s one show, movie, or book, you’re embarrassed to admit you enjoy?

  • I have watch Gossip Girl occasionally on Netflix…

46. How do you think your parents would describe you as a child?

  • Quiet/shy

47. If you could go back to any age or time of your life, what age or time would it be?

  • 27 so I could tell that mofo “no” so I could have avoided a huge disaster

48. What’s something you believe in that not everyone else does?

  • That we have connections with people/souls love certain souls more than others

49. What’s one thing you would say that makes you unique from other people?

  • I embrace my inner child and encourage others to do so too. Life is too stressful at times not to. 

50. What is one thing you feel your life is missing?

  • Stability, I just don’t feel it that much anymore. Granted I have a great job that supports my little home and 3 pups, has great insurance and I am able to pay my bills etc. However, I just feel like I am missing that person in my life that would fight for me, like I do them.

 

INFJ Personality 🤔

Hello friends 👋🏻

As a complex human and since I work in human resources, I’m always looking to learn more about myself, how I work and how others work as well. 

Everyday we deal with personalities. Whether it’s our own, coworkers, friends, enemies or just a stranger that you chat with at the coffee shop. With all the daily interactions, I think it’s safe to say that we have had good and bad experiences. For example, you’re assigned a project with a couple of your coworkers and we all see the differences first hand. You can have the overbearing, the shy and the lazy all in one group if you’re lucky and WOW it can be stressful! 

Let’s be honest, some personalities just clash. 

Additionally, in my work, we find it helpful for managers to take a personality test so they can be more aware of their traits and how they can effectively communicate and lead their subordinates. 
Since I am a curious gal, I took a personality test myself at 16Personalities.com 

I took it several times…just in case but after many trials, I am clearly an INFJ. I took a little slippet from the site and pasted it below. I think over all, I agree! 

If you are curious of wtf an INFJ is… Please read below! Or if you are more eager to know more about you, head on over to http://www.16personalities.com and see what you are! I would love to hear if you agree with your results, comments or personality  humor!

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ADVOCATE PERSONALITY (INFJ, -A/-T)

The Advocate personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As members of the Diplomat Role group, Advocates have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is that they are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.
Advocates tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.

*HELP ME HELP YOU: Advocates indeed share a unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – Advocates will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to Advocates, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. -Martin Luther King Jr.

Advocates find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extraverted types, but they would all do well to remember that Advocates need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. Advocates take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days.

*LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY: Really though, it is most important for Advocates to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed. This becomes especially apparent when Advocates find themselves up against conflict and criticism – their sensitivity forces them to do everything they can to evade these seemingly personal attacks, but when the circumstances are unavoidable, they can fight back in highly irrational, unhelpful ways.

To Advocates, the world is a place full of inequity – but it doesn’t have to be. No other personality type is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. Advocates just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves, too.

*ADVOCATE STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:

Advocate Strengths

    1. Creative – Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, Advocates use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the Advocate personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counselors and advisors.
    2. Insightful – Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, Advocates step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. Advocates see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.
    3. Inspiring and Convincing – Speaking in human terms, not technical, Advocates have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. Advocates can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for.
    4. Decisive – Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as Advocates are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. Advocates don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights.
    5. Determined and Passionate – When Advocates come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. Advocates will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.
    6. Altruistic – These strengths are used for good. Advocates have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.

    Advocate Weaknesses

    1. Sensitive – When someone challenges or criticizes Advocates’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the Advocate personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.
    2. Extremely Private – Advocates tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because Advocates are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for Advocates.
    3. Perfectionistic – Advocates are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and Advocates too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road.
    4. Always Need to Have a Cause – Advocates get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. Advocates like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed.
    5. Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave Advocates with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.

        *ADVOCATE RELATIONSHIPS: When it comes to romantic relationships, Advocates take the process of finding a partner seriously. Not ones for casual encounters, people with the Advocate personality type instead look for depth and meaning in their relationships. Advocates will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with – once they’ve found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of. Advocate romantic relationships.Getting to that point can sometimes be a challenge for potential partners, especially if they are the impatient type, as Advocates are often perfectionistic and picky. People with this personality type aren’t easily talked into something they don’t want, and if someone doesn’t pick up on that, it’s a trespass that is unlikely to be forgiven, particularly in the early stages of dating. Even worse is if a suitor tries to resort to manipulation or lying, as Advocates will see right through it, and if there’s anything they have a poor tolerance for in a relationship, it is inauthenticity.

        *IS THIS FOR REAL: One of the things Advocates find most important is establishing genuine, deep connections with the people they care about.

        Advocates will go out of their way to seek out people who share their desire for authenticity, and out of their way to avoid those who don’t, especially when looking for a partner. All that being said, Advocates often have the advantage of desirability – they are warm, friendly, caring and insightful, seeing past facades and the obvious to understand others’ thoughts and emotions.

        Advocates are enthusiastic in their relationships, and there is a sense of wisdom behind their spontaneity, allowing them to pleasantly surprise their partners again and again. Advocates aren’t afraid to show their love, and they feel it unconditionally, creating a depth to the relationship that can hardly be described in conventional terms. Relationships with Advocates are not for the uncommitted or the shallow.

        When it comes to intimacy, Advocates look for a connection that goes beyond the physical, embracing the emotional and even spiritual connection they have with their partner. People with the Advocate personality type are passionate partners, and see intimacy as a way to express their love and to make their partners happy. Advocates cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body and soul.

        *Feature photo from personality-central.com*

        Do you believe in soulmates? 

        I believe in a thing called looovvveeee – just not your typical “soulmate.”

        Hello all! 

        Sorry I have been away for a couple days, I ended up with a stomach bug 🤢😰 and just now feeling human! 

        So today’s post is something that has been in the back of my mind for the past few days. My friend and I were on the phone catching up on life and of course, relationships came up. She asked me a very interesting question: 

        Do I believe in soulmates? 

        I thought about it for a minute and replied, “no.”

        Now, before you gasp or think “wow this gal is jaded!” Or maybe you’re agreeing with me – sorry for jumping there! 

        To me “soulmates” have been made up through media as you two meet, fall in love immediately, frolic through a meadow of fabulous flowers, never fight, never disagree, get married, everyone is happy, healthy and live happily ever after – without a bump in the road. Everything is just “perfect.”

        Let’s be honest, humans are messy. Life is very messy and it seems to only get more complicated as the years go by…or as I continue through adult life. 

        I continued on with my friend – stating that: we as humans are so complex, we all differ, handle stress differently, come from all sorts of backgrounds and always learning. Life is not skipping through roses hand in hand. Ideally, we just want someone who is not going to give up on us. Someone who is on your team no matter what life throws at both of you.

        This chat also reminded me of another conversation that I had with my married friend. Some random weekend chatter between gals, she came out and said that she felt that she and her then fiancé were not perfect, but they made a great team. 

        At that time I felt, wow that is not quite romance haha.  The more I thought of it over the years and with the recent soulmate chat – while not sprinkled with romance, it was real and true. 

        Now don’t get me wrong, give a gal some romance every now and again – sure. However, at the end of the day, in our messy lives, or time of crisis or pain – even if the person may quirks that drive you nuts most days – if they prove to be next to you at the end of those crappy days, battling with you or someone who helps make a plan when you cannot even think…a perfect life teammate if you will. That is what you need. 

        Perhaps that is a soulmate, just my version. 

        What are your thoughts on this? Do you have a story or idea that may change my mind? Or do you agree? 

        I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Keep an eye on my page, I will be posting again later tonight or this weekend as well! 

        Depression within Relationships and Hope? 🙇🏻‍♀️

        As I have mentioned before, I suffer from anxiety and depression. As someone who has dealt with this for many years, it’s deeply comforting to meet someone “who gets it” especially if that person happens to eventually become your significant other.

        I met a lovely man whom I will call… Caterpillar. There is a story behind that but hey, that’s not the point of this post.

        Caterpillar also suffered from depression and anxiety so he “got it.” He understood my anxious days or lower days because he has suffers from them too. It felt like he understood me better than myself most days. That feeling is, earth shattering. Before I knew it, I felt a little less guarded and cared for this Caterpillar very much.

        He didn’t scream at me to get over it, shut me out and leave when I had bad anxiety days. Not like what I had to deal with in the past. I was with someone for 5 years and he never understood me quite like Caterpillar. Even though we both had bad breakups, we fell into whatever you want to call it…

        However….

        Here is the thing with two individuals who suffer from these mental issues… No one responds or handles things the same. So yes, we did have some bumps in the road as you could imagine. While I like to be with my loved one on bad days, he wanted to be alone. Thats just how it was. So fast forward through our days of being inseparable and acting like kids in love in toy isles… Which is a literal statement 🙏🏻.

        The day came, winter was especially hard on us. I combat the lack of sun with vitamin d supplements and try to keep going. He, took it harder and eventually there came a day where he said his depression got to a level that concerned him and that he needed time to focus on himself and figure a few things out alone.

        Again, I would want someone to be beside me in these cases and have before. He obviously wanted to be alone, which was not out of character for him.  I didn’t understand it, but respected it.

        While I looked for any reason for this to make sense in my raging anxious mind, which irritated him. It wasn’t me, it was him needing time to sort through  things,go to the doc and do it alone. I just needed to understand that.

        It was/is hard. I saw this man almost every day per his own requests – I didn’t push or was the overbearing woman – in any way and we had the best of times. We were fine the day before, so this was a bit of a blindsided situation.

        I tried my best to try to be apart of his life because from what he was telling me, he was in a dark place and I am a bleeding heart for the ones I care about. He still needed his space. So… I somehow found the strength to not text him unless he initiated it.

        Which he did and still does…even though he wanted to fully disconnect. Which helped me hanging to hope. Now here is the real portion of the post that I want you to focus on – the back story was important but my cry for help if you will or looking for thoughts on hope.

        This man has never lied to me in any way and I trust him 100% and I saw with my own eyes, his struggle. He wasn’t just using this for an excuse to leave. If that was the case, why still keep in contact at all. Which we have had over the past month – a couple days may go by but he always touches base with me. I have also seen him cut off people who brought negativity in his life and yet he hasn’t done that to me.

        My friends and family seem to have an issue with me still responding to him… Still having hope. Here is the thing, they dont suffer from mental illness. They don’t understand it at all really, so I feel it’s easy for them to say: you need to cut all ties and move on.

        I have been in a dark place. I know what it’s like to feel self hatred, confusion, anxiety and struggling to get out of bed. They don’t.

        So here I am. I’m still holding on to hope and he stated he has hope as well but he didn’t want me to wait around because  “it wasn’t fair to me.” To me, that’s my choice but he didn’t see it that way.

        So here is my question for people who are in relationships where one or both of you have depression and/or anxiety….

        • Have you ever been pushed away? If so, did you hang in there?
        • Did you have people call you weak or essentially made you feel silly for holding on to hope?
        • What advice do you have for me!?

        I feel very alone in my case and hope to hear some thoughts from you.

        Happy Monday everyone and I hope you have a great start to your week!

        Sending lots of love and good vibes ❤️

        Xoxo,


        **Sorry for any mass typos that may be here! I struggled to open up about this and then it just flowed 🙏🏻