Hello dear friends!
Well since the last time that I posted, I have officially turned 30. We all know that I have been struggling with this haha but here I am. Alive, 30 and well things aren’t too bad.
I am sure some of you are aware of the shopping rabbit hole. Etsy, Amazon, Google searches in general…right!? Well before I go too far into the current story… let me go back a little bit…
Backstory: When I am anxious, I fidget… a lot. One of the few things that I have realized over my years is, tap like a maniac or shake my foot or waaay back in the day – circa 3rd grade, I would play/twist my hair like a mad little girl. I know this because I did it so often the girl next to me said something one day…I can feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment to this day. Also, and the more current habit – when I have a ring on my right hand, I will spin it manically until my anxieties have passed a bit. This has been the only thing that has brought comfort to me…weird right? No fidget spinner, fidget cube, slime or whatever the kids use nowadays brought me any sort of calm like my ole trust ring. I will spin away, take it on and off repeatedly, look at it or a weird combo of all of the above haha. This is my go-to habit and has been for the last few years.
More recent: I had a plain, onyx band that I lovingly bought off Etsy, say… a year ago+? It literally was carved from stone, shiny, lightweight and beautiful.
It was perfect.
However, I somehow cracked the damn thing… you know since it is stone after all and so I had to get a replacement… because honestly, I felt lost and really anxious without it LOL! So I began my search for the replacement anxiety ring…I needed something strong so I ended up buying a stainless steel stackable set. It had different textures and potential. I ended up wearing it twice before going back into my “favorites” or “saves” to keep searching for the ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL! Or anxieties?
So there way down on the list was a black, stainless steel ring with little black stones around it. A little more flashy but I took the chance and I love it. It has been spinning away for the past few months.
Then I got greedy.
Or love-struck, whatever :). My searches brought up some of the most beautiful onyx stone rings. I drooled, saved and got lost in the endless scrolling of shiny things! One, in particular, stood out to me. I do not think that many would really give it a second look, but I loved it. Stainless steel (no cracking here…I hope), black (to keep with my ole trusty theme), and a nice onyx solitaire (wow effect). It clearly looked like “engagement” potential so I left it in my likes and carried on with my days, enjoyed my newer band…but the little ring stayed in the back of my mind and as the days crept closer to my birthday, I wanted to do something for ME. I have a tendency to do things for everyone else like many, especially women I feel. So I thought…fuck it. I am going to be 30, this is a new phase and I will treat myself!
Before committing to the checkout button. I did some research (aka fierce googling) on “if women buy their own rings.” The results were surprising and refreshing, to be honest. In fact, some ladies did not even settle for a gemstone, they got themselves a DIAMOND. Some not even on the right hand like my planned ring was to settle in as. Some ladies were committing to themselves and bought them the hard-earned rock that they loved.
GOOD FOR ALL OF YOU LADIES OUT THERE.
Ladies purchased the rings for various reasons – promotion, birthday, graduation, first home purchase and the list goes on. However, there was one thing in common…independence.
Yup, ladies celebrating their wins at life and with some sparkle… because… sparkle. I started to feel a bit silly for thinking that I could not “buy myself this ring.” I am with these ladies, hear us ROAR! I have made it out of my 20s alive, without an assault charge (looking at you ex) whew lol and able to stand on my own two feet without anyone else.
Most people that I have chatted with regarding my 30s fear said that honestly, it was not bad. That leaving those rough 20 years behind, you are more together, know your worth and can move forward. A new chapter so to speak, thank you to everyone who listened and commented on that rant of mine, we can finally put it to rest LOL.
So….I bought the damn ring.
Why should I have to wait around to hopefully receive it as a gift, when I could just do it myself? So, I did. I now wear a black ring on each hand and I am happily fidgety.
My featured picture shows this fabulous, black ring (which is hard to effing get a clear shot of btw) and my birthday Mad Hatter mug from the lovely Honeydukes.
SO with all the above rambling, which I am sure makes zero sense at times, know this – you do not have to depend on anyone else. Go get the ring, the shoes or cheesecake if you damn well, please. Be happy and when the hard days come, try to remember your worth.
I love you all, here is to 30 and for the love of God – more posting!