An open letter to my body

Dear Body:

We have been through this.

We decided that I would eat a veggie here and there and you would be willing to accept my feasting upon delicious baked goods…and still be healthy ahem. Right?

I rarely drink, I quit smoking – so why are you not holding up your freaking end of the deal? Is it the brownies? Is this what this is about?


I get some exercise! I walk a good amount, I get my cardio by chasing my lovely errant dogs (all the damn time), I lift heaps of cereal into my mouth that can be equated to a small barbell and the struggle to get out of bed to BE a human – also physically challenging (and mental) – the search for matching socks, finding those stupid undergarments, shoving each nubbly leg into pant legs (without falling and additional hop while balancing & extra cred for skinny jeans), throwing my hands in the air (like I just don’t care) to throw on whatever shirt and or hoodie that will be my battle armor for the day. SEE all of that BEFORE I even leave the house.

You have defied me body and can I just say, how dare you!

So…we knew we had a bit of a cholesterol problem from our check up last year…and maaaybe the year before. It was not really a concern, but after Saturday’s blood work, you seem to be lacking on scrubbing my arteries, BODY aka: HDL cholesterol <– get it together!

You know what, it is fine. I see the writing in the line graph that my health portal shows me… of that dreaded incline.

As if the multiple surgeries weren’t enough, of course why not add on: NO Katrina, you cannot live on cocoa puffs, Canada Dry, pizza, wine, smidge of water and cheeseburgers…but I accepted the challenge. I mean, I am still young right? My body clearly could fight back?

No body, you didn’t. YOU HAD ONE JOB!

However, I will not stick all the blame on the cholesterol. I did have that extended depression phase…but now we are better! Thank you Valeant & Pfizer for bouncing me back recently!

Anyway… now we must ACTUALLY eat better (because of your failure)…its fine. I will learn to turn my heaps of cereal into….UGH some sort of veggie perhaps. It is for the better….I guess. I will say, the way that I long at the baked goods in the display shelf may be concerning to onlookers. Perhaps they see the drooling – JK! ahem.

doggo gets it

F you. I hate you for doing this to me, but whatever – this is 29 I guess. UGH. Maybe we should work on a new deal and maybe start showing a fabulous decrease in cholesterol next year.


Your skin casing – Kat

P.S.- I am still mad.

5 thoughts on “An open letter to my body

  1. Quinn says:

    I have terrible cholesterol as well so…
    High five!

    I’m actually afraid to get tested this year because I KNOW I KNOW GODDAMMIT BODY I KNOW I’ve been eating too much dairy. The only time I ever managed to get my cholesterol even CLOSE to the high end of acceptable was when I ate practically nothing but vegetables and only drank water and that weird cholesterol milk.

    I have not being doing that lately. I might go and buy some weird cholesterol milk now….. thanks for the kick in the shin to remind me!

    Liked by 2 people

    • MadKatter says:

      Oh no!! You have bad cholesterol too!? Perhaps we shall form a group ;).

      It sucks and it is sooo hard to eat just veggies, which I commend you one for doing before..because I probably would have died lol.

      Did you get your cholesterol milk!? Are you doing any better?! I may.. have ate myself in pizza yesterday sooo.. not so good here!

      ❤ Kat


    • MadKatter says:

      You said it!!! Oh, you are trying to eat better, here let me put these fresh baked, fabulous, dripping in sugar angels of donuts before you… and eat them in front of you too. RUDE and I am not that strong haha.

      I am glad you liked my post and understand my struggle, how are you doing!?


      • bensbitterblog says:

        Bitter as always. The struggle is real, especially when it comes to baked goods, IE anything with gluten in it. I could be allergic and it could be killing me, I would still eat it and enjoy it as my last meal.

        Liked by 1 person

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