Hello friends and happy Wednesday!
I wanted to set a scene for you and ask that you give me your thoughts on how you would react. This may seem random right now, but it will make sense when I follow up with a longer post later 😘.
Scene:
You’re with your artistic photographer significant other one afternoon and you spot a new portfolio of theirs on the table. As the fabulous supporter of your artist, you pick it up and start flipping around, then something catches your eye.
Specifically, a picture, that appears new based off the skill set of his “hated, horrible, and wretched ex-girlfriend.” Page one, stating into your soul.
One that has caused him pain, issues with his family, you as a couple and him specifically. Someone that has been “blocked” from his life and yet here she is?
Additionally, there is not a single photo of you anywhere.
End scene.
Here are my questions:
- What do you think and feel?
- What do you do? Or how do you approach the situation?
- What do you feel the outcome should be?
That is all friends! I encourage women, men, other artists, aliens and all others to give me their thoughts ♥️.
Thanks for taking the time to read my mini post and I look forward to reading your thoughts and I will follow up later!
xoxo,
Kat
diaryofthemadkatter.com 
I would be a bit confused, it will make me wonder whether or not he still has feelings for this ex of his. I could imagine feeling slightly upset at first, seeing the photo of his ex and not any photos of you would be painful to see.
In this scenario I would ask calmly what the photo is being used for, why they were being used in his portfolio. If he didn’t want answer, I would let it be. Because I believe a strong relationship happens if you are able to tell the truth to your significant other, even if it’s difficult to say. I would trust him that the photo had no significant purpose, and that it is just being used for his work.
The outcome really depends on whether how protective or not he was towards the photo. If he felt the need to tell me not to snoop and that it was only for work, I would understand and let it go. I would however be disappointed if he began to arrange plans around when we would be together with the ex. People can change, so if he wants to hang out with the ex and she’s learned to be a better person, I’ll be okay with it. But if he purposely missed plans with me to spend time with the ex, he obviously enjoys her company more. I would break up, and of course be heartbroken. However as time will go by, i’ll be fine again and move on. I would just hope he wouldn’t make the same mistake again with her.
Nobody deserves a toxic relationship.
Anyways that’s how I would do things, I loved the scenario story you’ve come up with, I hope you’ll be able to write more of them! It’s fun to choose how you would react if in the scenario 🙂
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Thank yo so much for your honest input! I had a hard time trying to wrap my head around this scenario as in was real and has impacted my life lol. I did do a follow up post about this scene yesterday “Try a little tenderness…” It fully explains what happened and you are right calm was the correct approach :).
I did try that however, it did not work out quite the way I would have expected? I am having a lot of mixed feelings about everything.
People can change and I would be fine if he were to better a toxic relationship or what have you, find peace within himself. Just a little bit of communication would have helped in my case I feel and sadly, I got kicked to the curb without much conversation at all. If you have time, take a look at my new post and tell me you thoughts on what happened with me and now ex I suppose <3.
Thank you again so much. Your kind words, support and taking the time to read this truly means a lot! I look forward to chatting some more with you soon!
❤
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I’m heading over to that post right now! Currently on lunch break and I have a good 20 mins left, should be enough to read your post 🙂
I’m sorry to hear what happened, I’m glad you took a calm approach though. That shows that you can be mature in these situation, take pride in that.
Chat with you soon! xoxo
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To the above mentioned scene….I have given a fair amount of thought. Though I do not know much of the specifics. Here goes my introspect into the situation and as I do so in will give them in views of both an optimist and a pessimist.
1. As an optimist , it must always me remembered that humans are a sentimental creatures dwelling on the past. Often too much that they overlook their future. Even despite all situations. There are memories he might cherish and that keeps him on a place he has a photograph for reminiscent of an older and better time no matter how bitter it got later. On a pessimistic point of view…People can tend to collapse into chaos on poor judgement in their past and if someone had let a woman disturb his peace of mind….Well the call of that siren can evoke catastrophic reactions and ultimately falling back into the arms of the previous person. Their in lies the second question.
2) how you should act? Well this one is a tricky part and very much depends on how much intimate your relationship with that person is. I suppose since you posted about it…You obviously want answers and I think instead of beating around the bush….A direct calm approach of..” would you like to explain this?” Should give you the answer and it shouldn’t be on text or phone. It should be face to face because not just his answer but his body language, hesitation or even slight denial could indicate otherwise and you will be able to understand more about the situation if not the whole truth. And remember to not react with excess of emotion or shock but with calmness. It will help to access the situation. It will come to light wether it is trivial or he is genuinely back at the same mistake.
3. What remains of the outcome….Well humans are unpredictable. And you really aren’t worried about the outcome. What you are worried is how you will deal with the outcome if it turns out to be in the negative direction. Well the answer is simple to say but difficult to follow…And that is you have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and to give me such good advice and deep thoughts! It meant a lot to me. I did follow up with a new post, “Try a little tenderness.” If you have some time to kill and if you are still interested in how the whole scene if you will went down, I highly encourage you take a peek and of course share your thoughts if you like :).
I also try to be optimistic and hence why I did react with calmness and an open mind. I see enough “crazy” women in my life to try to avoid ever fall trap to it myself. We all know misunderstandings, assumptions and poor communication can cause more damage than needs to be.
I loved that you gave me both views, I love to hear insight from others during a time of self reflection. It really helps keep me in check/balance and feedback such as yours was very helpful!
I am still hoping for the best but as my newer post shows, I do not have a lot to go on. However, I try to hold on to hope.
I hope you have a great day and look forward to chatting again! ❤
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Not knowing you, I have no advice. But, I definitely read that this was a very painful experience, from the strong language you use. “Page one, staring into your soul.” “Additionally, there is not a single photo of you anywhere.” So, not only pain, but also anger. Best to give yourself a chance to experience these feelings and check out whether they are realistic or not. Then, you’ll know better how you want to proceed.
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Hi Tom! Thank you as always for taking the time to read my posts 🙂
It is like you know me better than you think! I am queen of sitting on feelings to determine if they are actually something worth addressing or if it was just a bad day etc.
You are also right in terms of pain and anger…sigh. I am doing my best to work through them but with a positive outlook!
Thank you again for always being positive and checking in. I hope you have a good day Tom!!!
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Hi Katrina,
Good to know that you found my comments to be supportive. That was my intention. 🙂 Best wishes on working through your feelings. It’s hard work, but worth it! Always brightens my day to hear from you.
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I couldn’t give you the best advice but I would tell you how I would react! I think that you should confront your SO and ask them about it and ask them to be straight up and honest with you, and you could go from there. I think sometimes it’s hard not to picture every terrible scenario possible and almost talk yourself into overreacting, but I think that if the two of you have an honest conversation you could decide the best move next! Good luck!
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Hi Natalie!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and responding :). It was very lovely to hear the words of encouragement and your comment helps keep me self aware if that makes sense!?
I did try to calmly approach him the day this occurred but it did not go so well as you saw :(. I am just still going to give him a little more space and I guess in the mean time figure out what I need to do for whatever outcome that comes my way? Even if that is to get my stuff. I guess we will see, send me good vibes! All of them lol.
Thanks again, it means a lot and I hope to chat again soon! ❤ ❤ Have a great day!
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@goodhonesttruth – I apologize! I some how accidentally deleted your comment in some weird button combo and I do not know how to fix it! UGH!
Anyway, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for giving me some honest/helpful advice. You are so right, communication is key – I do not care how cliche it is :). Without it, things just fall apart as my newer post shows :(. I really did not get much of a change to speak to Caterpillar as he just shut it down and has not talked to me since. Very sad. If you have some free time, it is a longer post – I encourage that you take a peek at my new blog/follow up to this called “Try a little tenderness.” Thoughts and opinions are always welcome!
I hope you have a good day and look forward to chatting more ❤
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