I have been struggling to put my thoughts together over the past few days…
Some other things that I have noticed over the past month: I don’t play music when I drive, or when ride the bus or during work my 9-5.
My bed feels like the only safe place. I struggle to get though the day, come home to my three obnoxious dogs. I take care of them and sometimes myself…then retreat to comfy clothes and cocoon in a blanket. Every day.
I don’t eat three meals or drink any water. I’m lucky to get one decent meal in to be honest. Some days it may just be a cliff bar.
Self care? Forget it. I don’t think I’ve brushed my hair in three days. So…
I guess before I knew it, I slipped, fell and landed head first into the bottom of the rabbit hole… Or depression if you will.
Of course post breakup or whatever you want to call it – these things are natural. Staying in bed, not eating or over eating when I do. Then before I knew it, a month went by. That’s right, it has officially been a month.
It seems like it drug by, but honestly we all know a month is not a lot of time. I have stayed in contact with Caterpillar (to view that saga – see my post “Depression within relationships…) when he initiates and things were going so well, that I even stayed with him during one of his hard days last week. Other days, I’m not so strong. I knew it would be hard…but some days – whew. I still have faith and even more than I did before but on these off days, it just feels tiring to be strong for two if you will.
Anyway, I’m susceptible to depression. It’s been legit freezing outside or rainy and it just helps me slip into that mode with ease. I do keep up on my meds and avoid alcohol during these times. Alcohol when I’m depressed – eh takes me to a very dark place that’s takes me like 3 days to recover. Does anyone else have this problem??
So in efforts to dig myself out of this hole and focus on gratitude and self care… I was thinking about starting a bullet journal. I jus don’t know where to start…
BuzzFeed posted this article that inspired me and included everything that I think may be helpful.
Do any of you use any of the topics included in the article? Do you have any product suggestions? Thoughts? Advice!? Words of encouragement!?
Thanks so much for reading through my cluster thoughts and being the awesome readers/friends that you are.
P.S. – The featured photo is from this evening…when I ordered pizza for my feelings and asked them to surprise me with something written inside the box 😂❤️. It’s the little things right?